December 12 (2)
Of the many things that one can do, this is possibly one of the most versatile in terms of reason and purpose. The act of being alone can occur in many different ways and take many different forms. You can be alone in a crowded room, or simply alone in your head.
A common image of alone is that of a person without whom they can share themselves; the lack of a significant other. This is definitely a valid view (and one that I can relate to). In this instance, being alone may or may not be a negative thing. Many times, this state is one not chosen actively, but one simply of bad fortune and/or situation. Other times, it may be a purposeful decision, which I will talk about shortly.
"Being alone" does not imply loneliness. While that case may be true some of the time, it is by far not the only definition. To be alone is often times an actively chosen state, not a passive occurrence. There are many reasons an individual would choose to be alone. One may choose to be alone to assemble their thoughts, take something into consideration, or just simply have time to themselves. They may also desire to be alone because they are hurt, depressed, or overwhelmed -- as the case may be when one has been dumped or rejected (in my case... retrospectively) or is over-worked.
Introverts also fall into this idea, as they thrive on having time to themselves; they find such an activity rejuvenating and reinvigorating. A need to be alone for an introvert is especially important after being with a large group for a period of time; interaction and sensory overload lead the introvert to the need to be by themselves.
In many circumstances, being by one's self can often be a combination of these things. It can be fantastic, or it can be absolutely awful (or somewhere in between). In the end though, no one is alone forever and that is something everyone can rely on.
I've brought this up because I've been meaning to make a point.
I am me. In all the world there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it. I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my hopes, my dreams and my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know of... but as long as I am friendly to myself, I can courageously look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However, I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at any given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I have discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore I can engineer me. I am me, and I am okay.
Do you see what being alone can do to even a person like me? To be honest with you, during these couple of weeks in which a lot of significant things have happened to me, I've liked being alone. In fact, at times I really love being alone. Never once have I found a companion that was as companionable as solitude.
12 days to Christmas, by the way.
Labels: End of 2008
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Saturday, December 13, 2008.
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